August 7, New Brunswick,

August 7, New Brunswick, Street sleeper street performer both can make money, hanging sign looking for work , look for a place to sleep . Mislead people to think extent meanings . I play music made $4, I slept , made $20. Secondary morning I sent our news I officially to started to sleep outside . Three men are concern about me . Sean , Christopher and Jeff . Resonpded Morning I wake up , I found a bottle of smart water beside me.I saw Goeger bought smart water for his friend when we were in Santa Cruz, i have never drunk smart water. I guessed i can become smarter after drinking it. Thank God for this beautiful peaceful night. I am in His hand always. Someone dropped their concerning while I was in dreamland. I cleaned up stuff onto backpack, went cross the street the store , to use bathroom and buy something to eat. I am so glad that this store 24 hours open, beautiful flowers in the front. It made my bedroom safer and more cheerful. I bought two apples. I like apples, it is food when I an hungry , it is water when i am thirsty. I thought today I would leave New York to Atlantic. I was thinks to walk the Brooklyn bridge. That would be fun. Finally I found a bridge, the girl who works in store told me this is Manhattan bridge. Here is Manhattan, cross the bridge is Brooklyn. So I just walked through the Manhattan bridge.bicycle path , many people ride bicycles , everyone works hard, me too. Can't smile , only can take care of breath. Out of bridge is Brooklyn downtown. Manhaton reminded me if JanYan yan. Sean' 20 yeas friend . She lives in mangaten , I looked at that buildings and thought of her . She is such unhappy person . Sean helped her when she came into the us . She stayed at his place in poin aruba . Now i got two long articles After I asked for a place to stay two night . Sean friend , sponsor, before die she wanted to see him. He is too busy , he was in China , when he came back to the us . He did not visit her either . He was too busy so he went back to china . She die . Her son daughter are an happy for him. In his time 2 am he called Sean to Sean this story. Complain . Sean encourage he is right . They should not complain him. When Sean was late to pick me to smother job after gardeninng . I did not complain he lose time I was happy he was safe . He told be this international phone call story . I was silence . Finally I say he was busy when she die , that s ok. She die not right time . She could not choose what time to die , did he visit her or call her or send cards or gifts when she was alive during this 20,30 years since he move to the us . This friend Called my home at 5 am 6 am . Sean said he know GE wake up . He know are maried? If Sean love someone , he see this person whole body flowers . This friend with wife and daughter visite my home , Sean let me go out, During Eatting , I said pray for husband , pray for your father , get good job, whole falimily together. Because they are budust not Christian . So Sean let me apolozed to them . I did. Good wish, concerning , care , even in china , none relighion , they would be happy if you pray for them. God please tell me how I can be a wife for Sean wills . I found a Starbucks to use Internet to check the map how to get to Atlantic city and recharge the battery for iPod. I walk to the entrance of 278. Jose picked me up , I remembered him. He drove a van. One of my drivers told me don't take the ride if someone drives van, because it is closed, you don't know what they hide inside. This van was in another road in opposite direction, when he was in line waiting traffic moving, he watched me, I smiled and waved to him. He and his van dispeared in the moving traffic. After a little while , a van stopped before me. I recognized him. I was a little bit nervous. A closed van, a man who watched him and then made a U turn to me,And he is Latino . I got on car, nervous he might want to talk or do something. Jose is a totally good person. I think this world has too much misunderstanding. After several cars , I was still in Staton Island. Now my good heart driver dropped me in a spot almost impossible to get ride, the speed is too fast. i tried to walk different places, I couldn't see the hope. God have mercy , a car stopped. " this' not right place,police man will give you a ticket. " his name is Mike. He drove me to new Brunswick. Mike tried to let me take bus to Atlantic. He drove to a deli store to ask about the ticket to Atlantic city, the man answered he only sell the ticket to New York. Now Mike did not know what should do about me. He did not want to leave me on freeway, he couldn't find the bus. I asked him for a place to stay for tonight , I can clean house or cook or smile for him. He said I scared him. I promised I am a good woman. "I can show you my ID card. " I can show you my driver license. What use, people who have driver license still can be a killer." I guess he is nervous to take me to his home. He said the first thing we go to his storage to take a bag, to replace my backpack. My backpack is old and some places broken. I have no needle to saw it , I had only one needle I brought it from home, it is broken. So I have no needle to sew the bag. Mike give me a big red bag. Mike thought to put me in his brother's home, but he thought that would not work for his brother's girlfriend. she would worry about 1000 questions about this stranger. I understand, someone has too much doubt about others. The telephone was ringing,Mike said "its my brother". He asked Mike, what are you doing? I am behind you, I saw you drive to the hotel. " look , this is him ! I thought his brother should not care too much about what he is doing. A 46 years old man can take responsibility for himself. I didn't not know here is hotel, I didn't think Mike decided to put me in hotel. Mike paid $55 for a room. After he left,I took shower and then fall into sleep . I think I slept well last night even it was the first time I slept on street. Today I walked long way and stood on road with several long waiting. Sometimes even myself don't know my body is tired. Today I am on road 100 days. Mike promise he will take food to me later. After shower I fall to sleep . The telphone ring wake me up. The desk told me mike came to to see me, they thought I was not in room. Because I called them to asked about needle, they told I can go to wallgreens to buy . So they might thought I went to wallgreens . After a little while , the telphone ring again , it was Mike. He told me he came . He asked me if everything is ok. I said he can come now. I wait for him. It was getting late, mike did not show up. I normally don't call anyone. But I little worry about Mike. Finally I called him, it went into voice message. I called the second time. It was same. I lift up a prayer to God for Mike may he be safe and happy , may he goes well in his life . And then I go to sleep . I thought Mike might have burden to come to hotel to meet me.might his brother spoke something about that. May God help him and his brother. Release the burden. Strengthen their heart. Trust in God , love in God.