July 4th, Bloomington IL

July 4th, Bloomington IL Tim got up very early, when I opened my eyes , I saw he already dressed up. I got up to hug him for goodbye , even we did last evening. G Tim left to work. I cleaned up my stuff and left the house at 7:30am. Mark gave me a ride to the 39 south entrance. It is a good spot. Joe with his big dog Brown Sugar drove me to another town. He bought me breakfast in MacDonald. My third driver was a lady name Beth . She was going to San Luis to see her family. She drove me until the door of Chris' home. It his is a hotel, I went inside, I saw exactly Chris siting at the table using computer. I recognized this was Christ. Before I came, I looked at his photos , tried to remember his looking. I took the bag out of car, thanked Beth. Beth worried about me, why this person lives in hotel.i have never had bad experience on couchsuffing, Christ traveled a lot, I certainly trust him. We went out to see town , eat sandwich Jill and John in Normal. He showed me the company farmer insurance. he works there. We went back , he was tinkling dinner , we decided to buy beef to BBQ . So went out again , to special place , they sell fresh beef. Went back home , put beef in fridger , and then he thought of another thing : we need charter . We went to wal mart to buy a box if charter and some plates. we went to lake, that was long drive . We saw the lake , many boats. But not for swimming. He said its wrong place. But we could not find right place. So we drove back. After a break , we started to cook. The weather was hot , the flam is burning . Chris's whole face is weat. He said we need the chater tune into white , and then put the beef. I worried if we wait too long , all fire will be gone. Finally Chris put one piepce of beef on the grill. He said that's for me , because I need "well done " , he eat " rare cooked" . Later he added another piece beef on grill, But the the charts did not work out. The fire was gone before the chatter tuned white. Chris tried to blow air with mouth, and then we found some dried little beaches , he used litter to start them to make fire. But the chatter just couldn't resurrection. Family we decided finish this project. We will think to eat something else as dinner. We took beef in room, Chris started to eat, I tried a a little piece it was good , but I could not eat more , that almost raw for me. I gave my piece to Christ, he said for him, that's cooked enough. Chris show me the pictures on computer , he traveled by bike in US 10 months two years ago, he biked many counties . I saw his bike in his room, he told me the functions . He fell yesterday from bike , there were fresh wound in his hand and leg . Evening when to see fireworks. Both there were fireworks in Bloomington and Normal, Christ asked me where I want to go, I said bloomington, because I like this name better than Normal . It was hard to looking for parking place. We are luck to close enough to watch the fireworks. They absolutely beautiful. I saw fireworks with Joe and Erin in Madison. That's pretty far. Tonight we are so close. I was so happy to see fireworks in July 4th night with Chris. Certainly Chris this name has special meaning , it always reminds me of Christopher, a man holding my heart. The moon was a big yellow plate. It was rising and getting brighter. July 4th , full moon, Chris, I felt life is amazing beautiful and touching my heart. Chris thought i did'nt not eat enough, we drove through Wendy's to buy some hanberger and fries. I checked the iPod, a email from Sean:"i miss you a lot today. I want a hug...me." I wanted to cry, I am far away from my husband, he is already 71 years old, I don't want him to suffer missing me. But what I can do? Ecxept email and telphone him, should I come back home by airplane ? Or I continue my journey until "well done" ? I could not sleep almost whole night. I and Chris are in same room . But something between us, he said" I can't do anything because you are married. " Some thing is too difficult to explain or understand. Something I just don't know . Sometimes I just want to cry... July. 4th, last years was in parade as lady liberty. I myself made the custom . Used quilt cover . Spent a night. This I'd the first independence day for me as American citizen . We had party with my coast getaway coworkers , tonight I with my handsome host watch fireworks . Chris is very beautiful, his voice is special .great treat for ears, his smile is same as a blooming flower.He is fast for everything , he drove fast , he type computer fast , I love to his fast.

Love in the road (3)

Love in the road (3) July 31 Cranston, Providence RI the dining room is really big. the breakfast was cereal, milk and egg.the man who was eating cross the table was friendly enough, he transferred me a box of orange juice. it did not take much time for me on this breakfast.i put the orange juice in bag and ready to see a new day in Boston. before i left, i thought i need to know the address of here in case I might come back in evening. i went to downstairs to the office, they told me I have to register at 1:30pm, otherwise I will take risk of no bed. last night i came here and registered that does not mean i have bed today. i see, you need register every day until you get green card, become resident of this shelter, and then you can escape this process. 1:30 pm is just begining of afternoon, far to night or evening. how i can walk an hour or hours back here and wait to sleep or walk to downtown again and then walk back for the night? that is good time to enjoy seeing new city, not for registering a bed. some shelter look like want to teach their citizen some philosophy of life: anything has its price. you have no money? pay with your time, let me take and beak it into small pieces. because this is my job, take care of you and keep being busy. when i was in Santa Barbara, the shelter regulation is that 4pm is shower time, if you don't take shower, you can't stay. keep clean is right, but 4pm for shower in summer that might be too early, you have to start to return at 3pm in somewhere. after shower you have to go out, until 6 o'clock back for dinner. Santa Barbara is my favorite place, and i ate labster in the shelter, that was luxury treat for a backpacker. what i paid is that let them break my day into umpty parts. that is similar some mothers, if they don't bother their kids that much, they would feel they did not full fill their responsibity. sometimes we live in such situation, we suffer together because we love each other. we can't separate and be happy respectively, when i got out of the shelter, i looked at the surrounding and tried to remember the location. i am sure i can find it. when i passed by a Starbucks, i went inside to check email. a good news showed out on my ipod, i got a Couchsurfing offer, Mike of Providence would like to host me. the interesting thing was that my request for a couch to Mike was by a mistake, i need a place in Boston on that two nights. but i sent the massage to the people in Providence. God's plan is higher than mine. now i exatly need it. Mike said I can stay at his home "tomorrow", because both he and his wife will work late tonight. that's right too. his "tonight" has already become my last night, i couldn't check email yesterday. when his tomorrow come to my today, that is right time we will meet each other. I happily emailed Mike, told him i will arrive at his place around 7 pm. i saw there was telephone number in the email, but no address. i thought i may give him a call. one is that i need to know where is his home, another is that i don't want to surprse him by sudden apearance in the front of his door. so i always send email or a phone call to remind of my host in the day before my visiting. a girl was studying a textbook like at the window seat, she looked nice. i went to her, asked to borrow the cell phone. the answer is "No." because she doesn't want strangers to see her number. "my number will show out on their phone. " this surprised me, my mind started to search a right words to comfort her nerve, "the telphone company have a service to lock the number, so it can't show out." but that is not the answer fit to her, and that is her thing to blind her number, not the person who is dialed by her phone. maybe high tech can do that, if you don't want see strangers' or certain people's number, they will not show out. is she so important? famous? very rich? i was thinking. the telephone number may related her body safety? bank security? moral reputation ? i have never thought what matter if someone knows my telphone number or my address, all are wecome to call me or visit my home. i started to try to prove i am a good person, my friend i was going to call is a good man. i explained what i am doing, who my friend is like. we both are common people, until now have not join in any robber group or underground drug trafficking. the answer is "No." i gave up my efforts, and sat back the table behind her. i thought of that lady of Amarillo, Texas, her looking is nice, with sweet smile, she just did not give me ride even 2 miles on her direction. she finally turned down my request in a very strong headwind morning. ask a woman for help is more difficult than ask God. "I lend it to you." oh, good, God worked on her heart! She changed her mind. I guessed she couldn't bear the feeling that i sat right behind her and she knew i need the thing she exatly has in her hand. The telphone went into voice message. I spoke what I wanted to speak to the machine. and then, I thanked the girl, gave a piece of my business card to her, my card is really popular with a super cute portrait of myself, "this is my address. you are welcome visit my home, I host you." I wanted to encourage her: trust, be relax, live freely. People are made by God, if we trust God is good, why we wonder people are bad? didn't God have qualified matertrial for His production? didn't He own enough knowledge to do His works? People are children of God, He loves people. we should do same. I kept going toward downtown. when I passed by a high building, a drop of water flied on face. following it, a little bird fell on the ground, just beside my feet. it was sunny day, A little bird dropped beside me from Heaven of the skyline building. He was on ground struggling on breath, i was surprised and --started to pray and cry, I don't know how I can help him. I hoped I didn't scare him, I held him in hand, carried him to the bush and flowers place , feed him water. Finally I decided to put him on the top of bush, I picked a bigger leaf to hold him,so he can stay on the top of bush. I hope other birds can see him, his family and friends will have more knowledge than me, a alien, to help him. I prayed and cried, I asked God help him,save his life. 如果我是小鸟， 我就落在你的肩头， 无论你走到哪里， 我都把你深情守候。 如果我是小鸟， 我绝不惧怕老鹰， 为了你的爱情， 我宁可失掉生命， 如果我是小鸟， 如果小鸟失掉生命， 我就落在你的脚边。 爱你是我死也不变的忠诚。 A little bird dropped beside me from Heaven of the skyline building. He was on ground struggling on breath, i was surprised and --started to pray and cry, I don't know how I can help him. I hoped I didn't scare him, I held him in hand, carried him to the bush and flowers place , feed him water. Finally I decided to put him on the top of bush, I picked a bigger leaf to hold him,so he can stay on the top of bush. I hope other birds can see him, his family and friends will have more knowledge than me, a alien, to help him. I prayed and cried, I asked God help him,save his life. I thought if I could cried for a little bird, why some one even no love for a human? This thought shoot me, when people's hear in cold coffin, how terrible it would be. While tears for the little bird still were in my eyes, I saw a man holding a sign on the street, I opened my backpack, took a bag of instant noodle , he said, no, homeless , have no hot water. I wanted to tell him: instant noodle can be eaten in dry.he also can sell it into money, But I didn't say anything , I put the noodle back, and take the wallet out, put some money in his cup . And said " take care. God bless you!" I played flute in a store seven 11.a man came , with a cup asked for donation. I was sure I came before him, I did not see anyone there when i arrived and when I set up the music stander. But this man is here now, he told the owner will let me go, the police will... . He tried to scare me away. He think that is his place. After I played one song, I collect stuff in bag , and put some money in his cup " I hope I can help you some. God bless you!" I left. When I was in las Vagas New Mexico , when I went to the entrance , there was man waiting for ride there. When he saw me coming , he simply took bag and walked away, left the spot to me. Even a hitchhiker , even a homeless , you can be a bigger person. Today this man gave me such good opportunity, do I could be a bigger person. I came early than him, left the place for him, I gave money to him. Thank God, along the road for 3 months, many men helped me,I learned a lot from them. I would like to tolerant and help this man. Even his behavior is small. That is just God let be to be bigger person on him from what I learned on the road.+++++++++++++++++++ Boston is somewhat similar Chicago from the piont of harbor. but i think i like Chicago much more. I don't want to go back shelter to wait 2 or 3 hours. So I was think how I can find a place for tonight. God if good ,God is beautiful. About 2:30pm. I checked email, I got Mike 's address. I am going to Providence, I will stay at his home tonight. Thank God,Mike rescued me from Boston shelter. A black young man gave me a ride after I walked long way. He was excited to know Couchsurfing, he was happy to offer me a place to stay at his home. But I have already decide to go providence to stay at Mike's home. He have me $3 and 3 boxes juice. And dropped me off. This was very good spot. What I could do is pray and wait. It was getting cloudy and dark and cold.I put on my long sleeves shirt. I have found This aera is more difficult than other places. Several cars transfeffred me to providence. Every car needed wait long time. The second car before providence dropped me in rest area. This is impossible place for hitchhiking in east coast. After hopeless waiting in the rain, I decided to walk to the next exit, and then wait in the entrance. While I was walking on highway, a car stopped. God have mercy.His name is Jack, he asked me if my car happened something wrong. " no. I am traveling, I hitch hikes everyday." Jack is so nice person , he stopped the car without seeing my thumbing. He told me before he drive me to my host address , he needed to buy food for his son. so I have dinner too. His son will go to basket ball game at 8pm, he tried to squeeze time to take me to Mike's home. Long time waiting let me enjoy talking with God. God is good , my every driver is a blessing for me. My every driver worth my waiting. The two dogs barked loudly inside when they heard my knocking the door.i saw Mike was trying to calm them down. Mike opened the door. He stretched his hand, I hugged him instead of shaking hands. my heart was so moving, he rescued me from Boston shelter.I have a sweet home tonight. I dont need have to wait 3 hours and then someone tell me " no bed". Mike , he maybe same as other couchsurfing host , but he is different for me. The two dogs were excited to welcome a new surfer. They jumped and pushed and stepped on and kissed me. Molly is big as small pony, Aliy is small as big cat, It looked They go along very well: play, roll, kiss, run... Mike poured a cup of mike for me. I love milk. I can fell he is very kind person. He is lucky that God gave him a beautiful cheerful wife. I like Amy, she is like me in somewhat, laughing, easygoing, delightful always. She take another blanket to my bedroom after she know I was cold last night in shelter. Mike and Amy are so nice couple. They are blessed. I tried to help to do something. Amy said there is one thing needed you to do . Can you play flute? How sweet request, I played several songs for her. I am sure Mike heard it too while he was working on upstair. Tonight I have queen size beautiful bed. Thank you, Mike and Amy! August 1, providence , 2nd night, Amy bought two blue berry muffins and a bottle of milk for me as breakfast, she dropped me in downtown. I like the river reflection as a mirror.Walking along such beautiful river in morning that was nice treat. I played flute in the bus station, I moved here to there within the spot. I saw a man wearing pink shirt went by me and came by me again , he has pretty good looking, neat dressing. I smiled at him every time when he passed by. In fact I smile at every one passing by me if my mouth is free from blowing flute. After a little while I moved to the CVS store, because I felt it was too noisy and smell bad in bus station. A pink shirt man passed me again, I don't remember I smiled or laughed aloud at him when I saw him the 3 rd time in different places around same area. I thought this man walked here and walked there, every time passed by me, that was interesting. The more interesting thing was that he came to me and stopped in the front of me. This was the fourth time I saw him within an hour. He asked what work you can do ? I said "I can clean house for you, or gardening. " he asked " can you massage?" "I have never done that". I thought about Yassee in Phoenix. I did massage for him. I thought massage needs professional certificate. It belongs doctor's group. "that's no problem. I pay you $50 an hour." " wow , that's good pay." I thought of Tom,my driver who lives in Petaluma, I worked whole day with him in Nevato , he paid me $60. That was very hard work. He even had no gloves for me. Time passed 3 months, there were still wounds on my arms until now. I thought even Yassee did not asked more than massage. That's OK, massage is just a treatment for physical, I may gave it a try. I read a article in Chinese Christian magazine, a Chinese lady Feishia gave me them. A doctor massage for a young man, made his eyes blind. After many years they found it was that doctor push wrong spot on his back. I was little nervous if I did something wrong that might made him disable in his rest life.I have no certificate, I don't know the knowledge. But I wanted to try new things. My passionate for life overwhelmed my mind. I promised I like to try. " do you know massage? " " I know ." I put my two hands on his shoulders, do squeezing actions. I thought as though he wanted massage , so I put my hands on him , that's OK. His name is James. We walked to his car, I asked "do you live here?" I wanted know some information about him, anyway I still feel something different about massage. " No. I live in Boston. " I thought he stay in hotel." I have a friend , she does massage and acupuncture," " you have friend with you?" " no, just myself" , I immediately found I gave him a wrong answer. I remembered Christopher told me, don't show strangers what you fear. I should not tell a stranger, especially those who ask for massage, I have no friend in a new city. Tonight I will stay in Eric's home, he is my couchsurfing host, at least I should count Eric as my friend. We got in car, while he was driving, he asked me to give him a kiss, I started to feel nervous, I turned my face to the window to look outside. So he simply put his hands on my shoulder and kissed me. He asked "are you OK? "I collected some courage to answer "I'm OK. " he may found I misunderstood "massage", he told me " massage is oral sex. " he pointed his mouth. " That was public place , there were many people there, so I didn't tell you." " do you want a try?" " yes or no?" " can you drive me back?" " where do you want to go?" " the original place, the CVS store." " That's OK, if you don't want to do." James bought a hamburger for me as lunch. He told me ," there is another better place , I saw someone play saxophone there. " bus station is not good spot. There people have more money. " I asked him:" You are pretty handsome, why you want to do that?" " that's simple." I think good looking men have more women to love them. They are not short of love or sex. So they don't need to spend money to buy sex. I believe James 's answer is honest. That's simple. Maybe in somewhat I even agree with him, if you need sex, buy it , that's simply. If you want sex through love , that's long way to go, cost too much emotion , need too long time. I surely know how deep I love Christopher, but I am even afraid to see his eyes. Sex with love , that's certainly more beautiful than simple sex. But simple made life easier, sometimes our life simply can't carry that much. If you are hungry, and you have money in pocket, buy to eat. You don't need have to compost soil,plant the seeds, water, harvest, cook.. And then eat. Such meal might be more tasty, might be made you exhausted before you enjoy it. Life is a journey, we still love to compost soil , plant the seeds, ... cook.. , even we did not eat. Someone likes to eat, someone likes to cook. That' s all OK. I don't think James is good or bad man because he asked for "massage". At least he gave me two choices " yes or no". At least he explained clearly what is massage before let me choose " yes or no" .And he is honest to himself and honest to me. That made things simple too. The worst thing in the world is lie. If James cheat me for " message " he will be another person. James dropped me at "the better spot " , and showed me where is bathroom if I need. I am sure he wanted to be good on me. He is not bad at all at this point. I guess there are many women who count the men as bad if they want sex.I really can't agree with that. If someone offers you a price to buy or rent your house, you may just tell him or her that you don't want to sell or rent your sweet home to others. Do you think that person is too bad because he want to buy your house? I believe that person just feel OK, or little bit lost if you say "No." He or she would not tear down your house or burn it in fire. Opposite, they like it, so they want to spend money to buy it. They may found its beauty than you know. The surprising thing is that continue 3 day there were someone asked for sex: my truck driver, my motorcycle driver, and James . If my drivers have such thoughts because of the physical distance in small space, but I met James in bus station, on street.a totally public place in the daytime around noon. James' request is beyond my thought.a woman playing flute on street, how can she make a man thinking of massage? Now I even think that James might be purposely to passe by me three times. This subject becomes hot. It happens three times within 8 days since I came back from Canada. That percent is much higher than I thought. It has never happened same thing in Canada. I think it might be because that American have more energy than Canadian. It looks I am more popular in east coast than other places. They three all are good men,in the end I was all very thankful to them. It was very windy afternoon. I played several songs in "better spot, " did not harvest anything . A man let me go. So I just go! I checked the map in ipod in Starbucks, and then walked to Eric's home. Emily was at home , she gave me a tour before Eric came back. There are 6 young people to live here, Emily told me, the house is able to sleep 17 people. So there are several empty rooms. If I wanted to clean house , there is plenty to do . I cleaned the big one in down stair, when Eric came back, he told me they will use it to practice singing tonight. He took me to the upstairs, told me I can stay at that room. I cleaned that one too. A young man came , told me he will use it for massage. I thought " massage " or sex ? I moved my stuff to next room. I was tired, I didn't want more cleaning work . But everywhere is dirty and messy. I simply lay on couch, take break. I heard they sang in downstairs , it was a beautiful concert for my ears. After eating, I fall into sleep. August 2 Providence 3rd night I went to downtown to play flute,CVS is my spot. A man came, we started to talk each other, his name is Joseph, I might concept him as nonprofessional minister. He prayed for me, when he was praying, his body doing some actions. That made me almost laugh aloud . other people prayed for me , I cried. Joseph prayed for me, I laughed. He said I can anoint me. That's interesting. He went home, after a while , he came back with a bottle of oil in hand. He put some oil on my forehead, and then he said , that maybe a little bit strange. In bible, not only anoint head. also anoint feet. " that's not strange" I immediately put off shoes and socks. He put some oil on my feet. Joseph went to buy lunch, when he came back, I had a bottle of orange juice to drink and a chicken sandwich to eat. Joseph stayed with me for hours. In Cleveland , there was a lady following me everywhere for hours. Luckly Joseph didn't bother my business , he is good helper. He preached "this woman is from LA, ... " A black young man listened his speech , and then contributed $20 in my tip hat. Joseph went to CVS to buy a big bottle of water for me and then he finally left . A black man siting in wheelchair cried " water! water!" he seemed the person who is in desert or the one in movie who went through a big battle. I immediately picked up the water to put it in his hands. that was Joseph bought for me . He said "open , open." i opened the cap. and then he started to drink. He looked like really thirsty. I ran back to take cookie to him. I thought if He is so thirsty, possibly he is also hungry. But he said " No , i don't eat cookie. too much sugar ." His voice is similar a woman's voice when she is in her beloved one's arms. A man who is in wheelchair might have same feeling . I am not judging his voice. What he said reminded me the man in Boston,he stood on street hoding a sign, I handled a bag of instant noodle, He responded " no. I can't eat, homeless, no hot water." instant noodle can be eat directly jn dry. he also can ask coffee shop for hot water. That also reminded me the big eyes woman,a safeway's customer, When i worked in Safeway Deli department,we were busy on most of time. One day there were several customers waiting . Dabera said "Spring, can you help this lady?" when i saw her, wo, what big eyes! Very big and very round. She sat in wheelchair. I thought about Dabera: you keep handsome young men, send this one to me. This big eyes woman was really special. She wanted to buy a sandwich. She asked the price. I reported: , $9.99 for 12". $5.49 for 6" . She said " I wanted 5". Someone can speak something beyond your expectation. We just sell whole bread 12" , or 6" half bread, we don't sell by every inch. She said she only have $4. I found a good way for her solution: make a breakfast sandwich for her, the price is only $1.99 . Even the time was afternoon. But God is good. We can serve " breakfast" whole day. The big eyes lady agreed with that . When I started the work, she told me," I don't want egg,that's too much what what..." breakfast always has egg. That's the recipe. When I was going to put in oven,she said " don't cook, that's not heathy ..." our breakfast recipe is hot. I thought : you've already sat in wheelchair, you still picky. "I want what what .." I thought: this is breakfast price, now it is bigger than regular sandwich. A person has no grateful heart, is not willing to receive blessings,how can he or she be blessed by God? Or even be loved by other human? I took back what they did not want , gave them what they wanted. I am beloved by God , God gave such heart to treat His all kinds of children with patience. A security guard asked me" do you permission, someone asked about your permission." " yes. I have" he was surprised. " wo? You have permission!" "God is my permission." I said in my mind. I am not good at lie, i was little bit nervous he maybe ask me to show him my permission. But ask a street performer for permission, i don't think God would be happy about that. I play music on street, that is not against Bible. So it is permitted by God. It was getting evening, a person came out to let me leave. I made $64, a good day. I checked email in Starbucks. Eric wrote me a note through couchsurfing website : " Spring, .... I think I lost you." I guessed Eric might did not know where I slept last night. I cleaned two rooms, they used the first one to practice singing, another young man used the second one to massage. I was too tired to clean more, so I simply stay at another dirty room, I did laundry and then fell into sleep, I did not join in their singing. so Eric did not see me and did not know where I stayed. This is big house, it is for 17 people to live. Now 6 young men and young ladies live here. So they have several empty rooms. I responded a note to Eric : " I slept well. .. You have never lost me, you are my master. " I respect my hosts as my master,my lord.I enjoy my host's home as my sweet home. Today was Eric 's turn to cook. They have their regulation for cook, clean, food, soap.. Eric was busying in kitchen when I came back. " you didn't lost me. I'm here!" I reported. I ate instant noodle, that's simple. When Eric came to upstair to look for me for dinner, He finally know where I slept last night. This is my dreamland for tonight too.

August 8 , Trenton , NJ

August 8 , Trenton , NJ I almost everyday could not reach my planed destination. R My old driver offered me to " get a room" after he knew I have no host tonight. I said thank you for your generosity. But he said I wanted to sleep in same bed. He is old , I have one in my home, That 's enough. I have no any Interest in more old men. He is short, his voice is very skinny. In physically I have no Interest to share bed with this person. He pat me some places from time to time." Don't do that." " are you scared?I will not hurt you." I was not scared , but I did not like he did that on me. I told him , you give a ride That reminded me James , who offered $50 for " massage " in Providence. I promised like a try and put my hands on his shoulders to show him that I know what is massage. If my this old driver gave same offer, I think I will immediately turn down . If he offered $500 an hour, I might think to take this job. I an not meaning extending massage. Our eyes love beauty. Eve received Serpen's suggestion because she saw the apple is beautiful. It might be tasty to eat. I don't believe women love older men , I don't believe men love older women. I am 45 years old , I know i certainly cannot win in beauty campareing young women. I have already thank God some one would like to stop car for me and picked me up. I have already thank those who wanted to have sex with me because they think I am beautiful healthy enough for doing sex. If my looking same as my this old driver , perhaps even I offered to "get a room" to some men, they would say "No" , same as I did. This world is a balance about beauty and money. I am same as Eve, my eyes love beauty , my heart is weak to temptation. After I said "No" , he reponded " I saved money" He is smart man. He know how comfort his own heart. So he delete the lunch and room . He was going to casino, after short distance , He dropped me out. Another old man gave me shirt ride. I was in famine. So I went a restraint and had a big meal. Myself paid. This is east coast. Not easy to get " free lunch " After big lunch, I keep going my way . I got a ride from another old man. His name is Bruce.he drove me Trenton. We went to good will to shop , I did not find backpack , but Bruce Took off a belt, from another bag . I spent $1 bought it. Bruce put it in my bag , made it into I can carry it on my back . You are engineer. I am engineer . Two engineers . We well know how to do. Bruce dropped me downtown. I looked round and to see the river. When I checked the email , I got respond. A Couchsurfing. Homeless shelter, street , I will have a home to accept me. Carsha from Poland , 5 years older tha n the boy , 10 o'clock come back . We wait for dinner , cook at 9:30 . Wash dishes , she did not do anything .

August 7, New Brunswick,

August 7, New Brunswick, Street sleeper street performer both can make money, hanging sign looking for work , look for a place to sleep . Mislead people to think extent meanings . I play music made $4, I slept , made $20. Secondary morning I sent our news I officially to started to sleep outside . Three men are concern about me . Sean , Christopher and Jeff . Resonpded Morning I wake up , I found a bottle of smart water beside me.I saw Goeger bought smart water for his friend when we were in Santa Cruz, i have never drunk smart water. I guessed i can become smarter after drinking it. Thank God for this beautiful peaceful night. I am in His hand always. Someone dropped their concerning while I was in dreamland. I cleaned up stuff onto backpack, went cross the street the store , to use bathroom and buy something to eat. I am so glad that this store 24 hours open, beautiful flowers in the front. It made my bedroom safer and more cheerful. I bought two apples. I like apples, it is food when I an hungry , it is water when i am thirsty. I thought today I would leave New York to Atlantic. I was thinks to walk the Brooklyn bridge. That would be fun. Finally I found a bridge, the girl who works in store told me this is Manhattan bridge. Here is Manhattan, cross the bridge is Brooklyn. So I just walked through the Manhattan bridge.bicycle path , many people ride bicycles , everyone works hard, me too. Can't smile , only can take care of breath. Out of bridge is Brooklyn downtown. Manhaton reminded me if JanYan yan. Sean' 20 yeas friend . She lives in mangaten , I looked at that buildings and thought of her . She is such unhappy person . Sean helped her when she came into the us . She stayed at his place in poin aruba . Now i got two long articles After I asked for a place to stay two night . Sean friend , sponsor, before die she wanted to see him. He is too busy , he was in China , when he came back to the us . He did not visit her either . He was too busy so he went back to china . She die . Her son daughter are an happy for him. In his time 2 am he called Sean to Sean this story. Complain . Sean encourage he is right . They should not complain him. When Sean was late to pick me to smother job after gardeninng . I did not complain he lose time I was happy he was safe . He told be this international phone call story . I was silence . Finally I say he was busy when she die , that s ok. She die not right time . She could not choose what time to die , did he visit her or call her or send cards or gifts when she was alive during this 20,30 years since he move to the us . This friend Called my home at 5 am 6 am . Sean said he know GE wake up . He know are maried? If Sean love someone , he see this person whole body flowers . This friend with wife and daughter visite my home , Sean let me go out, During Eatting , I said pray for husband , pray for your father , get good job, whole falimily together. Because they are budust not Christian . So Sean let me apolozed to them . I did. Good wish, concerning , care , even in china , none relighion , they would be happy if you pray for them. God please tell me how I can be a wife for Sean wills . I found a Starbucks to use Internet to check the map how to get to Atlantic city and recharge the battery for iPod. I walk to the entrance of 278. Jose picked me up , I remembered him. He drove a van. One of my drivers told me don't take the ride if someone drives van, because it is closed, you don't know what they hide inside. This van was in another road in opposite direction, when he was in line waiting traffic moving, he watched me, I smiled and waved to him. He and his van dispeared in the moving traffic. After a little while , a van stopped before me. I recognized him. I was a little bit nervous. A closed van, a man who watched him and then made a U turn to me,And he is Latino . I got on car, nervous he might want to talk or do something. Jose is a totally good person. I think this world has too much misunderstanding. After several cars , I was still in Staton Island. Now my good heart driver dropped me in a spot almost impossible to get ride, the speed is too fast. i tried to walk different places, I couldn't see the hope. God have mercy , a car stopped. " this' not right place,police man will give you a ticket. " his name is Mike. He drove me to new Brunswick. Mike tried to let me take bus to Atlantic. He drove to a deli store to ask about the ticket to Atlantic city, the man answered he only sell the ticket to New York. Now Mike did not know what should do about me. He did not want to leave me on freeway, he couldn't find the bus. I asked him for a place to stay for tonight , I can clean house or cook or smile for him. He said I scared him. I promised I am a good woman. "I can show you my ID card. " I can show you my driver license. What use, people who have driver license still can be a killer." I guess he is nervous to take me to his home. He said the first thing we go to his storage to take a bag, to replace my backpack. My backpack is old and some places broken. I have no needle to saw it , I had only one needle I brought it from home, it is broken. So I have no needle to sew the bag. Mike give me a big red bag. Mike thought to put me in his brother's home, but he thought that would not work for his brother's girlfriend. she would worry about 1000 questions about this stranger. I understand, someone has too much doubt about others. The telephone was ringing,Mike said "its my brother". He asked Mike, what are you doing? I am behind you, I saw you drive to the hotel. " look , this is him ! I thought his brother should not care too much about what he is doing. A 46 years old man can take responsibility for himself. I didn't not know here is hotel, I didn't think Mike decided to put me in hotel. Mike paid $55 for a room. After he left,I took shower and then fall into sleep . I think I slept well last night even it was the first time I slept on street. Today I walked long way and stood on road with several long waiting. Sometimes even myself don't know my body is tired. Today I am on road 100 days. Mike promise he will take food to me later. After shower I fall to sleep . The telphone ring wake me up. The desk told me mike came to to see me, they thought I was not in room. Because I called them to asked about needle, they told I can go to wallgreens to buy . So they might thought I went to wallgreens . After a little while , the telphone ring again , it was Mike. He told me he came . He asked me if everything is ok. I said he can come now. I wait for him. It was getting late, mike did not show up. I normally don't call anyone. But I little worry about Mike. Finally I called him, it went into voice message. I called the second time. It was same. I lift up a prayer to God for Mike may he be safe and happy , may he goes well in his life . And then I go to sleep . I thought Mike might have burden to come to hotel to meet me.might his brother spoke something about that. May God help him and his brother. Release the burden. Strengthen their heart. Trust in God , love in God.

August 6 new York city 2nd night

August 6 new York city 2nd night After McDonald man let me out on the 3am. I looked for a bathroom. A back man told me there is a bathroom in deli store. It looks like they open 24 hours. Some young men were playing cards at a table. After bathroom , I asked the owner to recharge iPod battery . They couldn't help. A young man next me was shopping there, he said he can help me , he works in a food booth in the street corner. We walked there, he put my iPod in recharge. I waited outside. Read bible. This was early morning, I felt little bit cold. 6am, a new day came. God have mercy, He take care his every child. I walked on street , thought I would go to see the statue of liberty. Along the road , I saw many people sleeping outside, that give me courage . I remembered when i stayed at Grant 's home, there was another couchsuffer Astro, he said if you can sleep outside, you will be in real freedom. I believe so. You don't need worry where you will sleep tonight, you don't need spend a lot of time to look for a place of work for talk for exchange . You don't come back, you can go forward forever . I walked on through the broadway , someone told me how i can get to see the statue of laberty . I was Lady laberty last year in parade in Mendocino . I myself made the costume . Use quit cover made robe . A cookie box as the book. A paper fowl roll as torch stick. Santa clouse hat as flame on the torch. Cartons board made 7 pieces triangles . And a round circle . . Covered same faberic . Sew them together. A night I was everything . Second morning . When Sean woke up he was saw the while set of custom . He was a amazed . He thought I can make the robe . He couldnt imagine how I can homemade the. crown. He thought I need to buy one. I has big fun on that day . When I see this statue of laberty. That always reminds me I was lady liberty in July 4th parade. Several years ago , I tried to write a play, musicals. The subject is about lady liberty. Lasy liberty 's lover is in prison. She try to rescue him. I Pass through a place . Many people . I went inside . It is moms rial of 911 . ground zero . Cheistopher told me to go to see ground zero . I though it is a ground. Because 911 took the big building away. Now the surpring thing is most high building is here. This great country rebuild it. When 2003 When I traveled in Tebet . I met a muslim from Gansu province. My friend Zhou talk with him about 911. This man think they " should " bomb America. I felt fear when I heard that . Cheke Internet about 911 bomb America . Should or not . What bible say about 911 bomb . From ground zero . I walked to the bank .bay park . I lay down on the bench , take nap . Last night is one night stand . I went to check to boat to the Eliot island . The too many people long line . The fee is $. 17 . I I rembered Ali told me the free ferry . I found the right place . There were many people too . Finally we got on the board . The view was getting more beautiful as the boat was going away . New York became a Visional city on water . I took a big nap on the island under the tree, got several big bites from mosquitoes . . And came back at evening. See one more time new york on water. I even felt it is more beautiful than we left It . Perhapls the angel differient of leaving away and coming closer give doffere feeling . Get afternoon , I have that paper it list all shelters of new York , the man work s there circle two of them , tell me those are for women . I thought I may try closest one, still have some obstacles to sleep outside . I want a bed to sleep better . So I walked toward that direction . Along the road I saw many people sleep ouch street. I thought i may join in them. I kept walking , when I came to a big church , I decided to stop here , this is my place for tonight. I saw a black young man sleeping on the steps this early morning when passed here . He wore beautiful suit , there two big suitcases besides him. He looked far away homeless style, more like a businessman just get out of Airport. I don't know his story. Why he slept on street. but tonight this is my spot. I don't sleep on steps. I stay close to the door as I can . I prayed to God. . Please protect me, give me a peaceful night. This is first time I sleep outside . If in Buffulo I was Michael 's home I slept on his porch . That 's in his home . Upstairs , there is a bed . And took a blanket from inside. That was not real ouside, certain ly not on street . That was a good Prictice . I put a piece of plastic on the concret ground . Backpack as pillow, a small bag crlossing my body , there were my ID and passport and money and bank cards inside .the sheet is big envolop , j used king side sheet , fold and sew it become a envolop . I put myself inside, if put a stamp and write address : dreamland , that just where I want to go tonight . I lay down on my new bed, with the envolop sheet covered my whole body . At I don't want other people know I am a woman sleeping alone on street . I wear long sleeve shirt , in case cold at night while I sleep ,

August 5 new York city

August 5 new York city I ate a bowl of creries, i like this simple breakfast. It was close to 9:30am, we were leaving to church. Sine told me that Michael would go to another church because " we have different opion." The Church is in park beside the river, a garden full of blooming flowers is nearby. some people were already there, sitting on chair , or just a piece of sheet on ground. A young lady with beautiful dress was sending the church papers .there were several kids around her, girls and boys all were dressing up. They were so beautiful. God's children and the scene were perfect match. I immediately like this church, it was same as a party. I thought Sean might like it too. He doesn't go to church, one of the reasons is that he thinks church is "close", not "open". Here is open place . Any one who passes by here can be attracted to and join in worship. This is very good way to preach good news. We don't need have to invite some one into a special building, Check interment some people don't like go to church , church feeling , they live God . What is church ? The whole universe is church, preach God 's love. That reminded me jesus preach on boat on water , people listened him while they were standing on bank. If our pastor stands on boast on big river, congregation stand in beach while listen his sermon , I think that 's fun and cool. And it can help us to understand what Jesus was doing for the people at that time . We put the chairs next a elder lady in the first row, Sine told me Kethy is her best friend, she told her my story the conclusion was " Spring is California girl" her meaning was that california people are more progressive, easy coast people more likely to stay at home. Sine introduced me to her, and pastor. She like to say my Chinese name jiuxin Hao . I like this outside church, a lady with several kids were greeters.they all wore colorful dresses. Use grape instead of wine. The bread was a cross + that was fun. The pastor Carol is a beautiful lady. Pianist is her husband. Congregation take foldable chairs or a piece of fabric , sat on grass. I like this style church. Church should open the door. After church Sine took me to the 95 south entrance. Along the road she gave me a tour. I think Norwalk is a beautiful city. Sine watched me until I stood on the entrance hiding the sign and thumbing up. That was same as Pearl, she watch me, she did not want leave me along. They wanted to send their all love to me through their sight. That love tied on my heart. I can feel the strength pulled by their hands. It was about an hour driving distance to new York. Serveral cars transferred me. My last driver is a black young man, named Aphilia . in fact his skin color is similar mind. He drove me to New Rochelle , gave $10 let me take train to new York . The train fee is $7. When I got out of train station, the first words I said was " wow, Cool" , I walked through Lexington street . It was full of beautiful works of children of God, I tried to find a place to sleep , I went to salvation army , they told me that's not shelter. The man who works there print a map for me, pointed me another shelter. I am too tired to walk more. I sat in McDanald , the man , I guess he is supervisrefbb it maybe his job is just watch customers , talk to me , his looking looks from middle east, You did not order anything , you are here two hours . I bought a hamberger meal , I supposed to stay another two hours . But after an hour , he came to me , let me leave , he said they were going close . I think he lie, some people there. 24 hours open. I wanted to use bathroom. He said bathroom is broken. You let a woman out at 2am. God have mercy . I am ready to leave at 3am . I become a nail in his eyes. He felt uncomfortable if he doesnt take it out. Once his mind fall into that channel. It just working in that channel . I walked to him asked his name. I have no name. You don't worry I will not tell your boss. I will lift your name to God , pray for you. God know your name . I left Madonald , I saw a black man on the coner , I asked him where is bathroom. He pointed me the Deli store on the next corner . I went there , there were a group young men playing cards around a table. I squeezed by them,and walked to upstairs , I squeeze in to the bathroom . I thought wash face, but some waiting knock the door. And the space is really too tight . So I gAve up the idea. I went to downstair , asked the worker to recharge my iPod . He couldn't help. The young man beside me was buy food. " I recharge it for you." he works in booth on the street nearby. Ali recharge iPod . I sit his electic motor , it made in china , Ali told me his girlfriend I'd Chinese . He is from African what country . That surprise me, his looking looks totally white. He laugh " mixed" . We walked to his booth. I sat on his motor. It is very small motor . I ask him to see statue of liberty. He told me I can get free ferry . I can see on the boar . Just Cannot get out You can see two times . If one Time is not feel enough. That is very good information. It was getting light. I take the iPod and walk in the town. I saw. Many People were sleeping on street . So I think that is ok . Not a scary thing. I asked some one

August 1, providence , 2nd night,

August 1, providence , 2nd night, Amy bought two blue berry muffins and a bottle of milk for me as breakfast, she dropped me in downtown. I like the river reflection as a mirror.Walking along such beautiful river in morning that was nice treat. I played flute in the bus station, I moved here to there within the spot. I saw a man wearing pink shirt went by me and came by me again , he has pretty good looking, neat dressing. I smiled at him every time when he passed by. In fact I smile at every one passing by me if my mouth is free from blowing flute. After a little while I moved to the CVS store, because I felt it was too noisy and smell bad in bus station. A pink shirt man passed me again, I don't remember I smiled or laughed aloud at him when I saw him the 3 rd time in different places around same area. I thought this man walked here and walked there, every time passed by me, that was interesting. The more interesting thing was that he came to me and stopped in the front of me. This was the fourth time I saw him within an hour. He asked what work you can do ? I said "I can clean house for you, or gardening. " he asked " can you massage?" "I have never done that". I thought about Yassee in Pheonix. I did massage for him. I thought massage needs professional certificate. It belongs doctor's group. "that's no problem. I pay you $50 an hour." " wow , that's good pay." I thought of Tom,my driver who lives in Petaluma, I worked whole day with him in Nevato , he paid me $60. That was very hard work. He even had no gloves for me. Time passed 3 months, there were still wounds on my arms until now. I thought even Yassee did not asked more than massage. that's ok, massage is just a treatment for physical, I may gave it a try. I read a article in Chinese Christian magazine, a Chinese lady Feishia gave me them. a doctor massage for a young man, made his eyes blind. After many years they found it was that doctor push wrong spot on his back. I was little nervous if I did something wrong that might made him disable in his rest life.I have no certifacate, I don't know the knowledge. But I wanted to try new things. My passionate for life overwhelmed my mind. I promised I like to try. " do you know massage? " " I know ." I put my two hands on his shoulders, do squeezing actions. I thought as though he wanted massage , so I put my hands on him , that's ok. His name is James. We walked to his car, I asked "do you live here?" I wanted know some information about him, anyway I still feel something different about massage. " No. I live in Boston. " I thought he stay in hotel." I have a friend , she does massage and akupunktura," " you have friend with you?" " no, just myself" , I immediately found I gave him a wrong answer. I remembered Christopher told me, don't show strangers what you fear. I should not tell a stranger, especially those who ask for massage, I have no friend in a new city. Tonight I will stay in Eric's home, he is my Couchsufing host, at least I should count Eric as my friend. we got in car, while he was driving, he asked me to give him a kiss, I started to feel nervous, i turned my face to the window to look outside. So he simply put his hands on my shoulder and kissed me. He asked "are you ok? "I collected some carourage to answer "i'm ok. " he may found I misunderstood "massage", he told me " massage is oral sex. " he pointed his mouth. " That was public place , there were many people there, so i didn't tell you." " do you want a try?" " yes or no?" " can you drive me back?" " where odo you want to go?" " the original place, the CVS store." " That's ok, if you don't want to do." James bought a hamburger for me as lunch. He told me ," there is another better place , I saw someone play saxophone there. " bus station is not good spot. There people have more money. " I asked him:" You are pretty handsome, why you want to do that?" " that's simple." I think good looking men have more women to love them. They are not short of love or sex. So they don't need to spend money to buy sex. I believe James 's answer is honest. That's simple. Maybe in somewhat I even agree with him, if you need sex, buy it , that's simply. If you want sex through love , that's long way to go, cost too much emotion , need too long time. I surely know how deep i love christopher, but i am even afraid to see his eyes. Sex with love , that's certainly more beautiful than simple sex. But simple made life easier, sometimes our life simply can't carry that much. If you are hungry, and you have money in pocket, buy to eat. You don't need have to compost soil,plant the seeds, water, harvest, cook.. And then eat. Such meal might be more tasty, might be made you exhausted before you enjoy it. Life is a journey, we still love to compost soil , plant the seeds, ... cook.. , even we did not eat. Someone likes to eat, someone likes to cook. That' s all ok. I don't think James is good or bad man because he asked for "massage". At least he gave me two choices " yes or no". At least he explained clearly what is massage before let me choose " yes or no" .and he is honest to himself and honest to me. That made things simple too. The worst thing in the world is lie. If James cheat me for " message " he will be another person. James dropped me at "the better spot " , and showed me where is bathroom if i need. I am sure he wanted to be good on me. He is not bad at all at this point. I guess there are many women who count the men as bad if they want sex.I really can't agree with that. If someone offers you a price to buy or rent your house, you may just tell him or her that you don't want to sell or rent your sweet home to others. Do you think that person is too bad because he want to buy your house? I believe that person just feel ok, or little bit lost if you say "No." He or she would not tear down your house or burn it in fire. Opposite, they like it, so they want to spend money to buy it. They may found its beauty than you know. The surprising thing is that continue 3 day there were someone asked for sex: my truck driver, my motorcycle driver, and James . If my drivers have such thoughts because of the physical distance in small space, but I met James in bus station, on street.a totally public place in the daytime around noon. James's request is beyond my thought.a woman playing flute on street, how can she make a man thinking of massage? Now I even think that James might be purposely to passe by me three times. This subject becomes hot. It happens three times within 8 days since I came back from Canada. That percent is much higher than i thought. It has never happened same thing in Canada. I think it might be because that American have more energy than Canadian. It looks I am more popular in east coast than other places. They three all are good men,in the end i was all very thankful to them. It was very windy afternoon. I played several songs in "better spot, " did not harvest anything . A man let me go. So I just go! I checked the map in ipod in Starbucks, and then walked to Eric's home. Amily was at home , she gave me a tour before Eric came back. There are 6 young people to live here, Amily told me, the house is able to sleep 17 people. So there are several empty rooms. If I wanted to clean house , there is plenty to do . I cleaned the big one in down stair, when Eric came back, he told me they will use it to practice singing tonight. He took me to the upstair, told me I can stay at that room. I cleaned that one too. A young man came , told me he will use it for massage. I thought " massage " or sex ? I moved my stuff to next room. I was tired, I didn't want more cleaning work . But everywhere is dirty and messy. I simply lay on couch, take break. I heard they sang in downstairs , it was a beautiful concert for my ears. After eating, I fall into sleep.

August 3, New Haven

August 3, New Haven I guessed Eric was still sleeping.young men have young dreams. I left a note for him on the table.there are many stops along the way. you are a beautiful one,thank you, Eric. I walked to the entrance of south 95. A car stopped.the driver told me he was going to downtown of Providence. Any distance is helpful. I asked him that he may drop me on a entrance little bit out of town, so I may get better chance for next lift. His name is Tonny, he gave me a CD , he is the manager of the band.The music is very active, sounds like rock & roll style. Some singers's voices are excellent. I think it is wonderful music. the car went into the downtown and passed the downtown. we were running toward my destination. here was Connecticut, I entered into a new state. Tonny drove me so far because he "couldn't " find any place to let me out. Surely along the road we passed many exits and entrances. Tonny is not only driver who "couldn't" find the place to drop me.James picked me up in Sacramento when i was on the way back home from Reno Nevada. he was going to Yuba city to pick his kids for weekend. he drove me until Clearlake Oaks, it is more than 70 miles beyond his destination. he just couldn't leave me on roadside by myself, he just couldn't drop me in the rain, he just tried to drive me closer to my home. when i got out of car, i had three hamburgers and a raincoat and couple dollars in pmy hands.That was half year ago,I went to Reno,i wanted to see the city that Christopher lives in and feel him from there. my heart received full love when i came back, it was not from Christopher, it was from my drivers. James is in my prayer until now, my eyes are in tears when i am typing this story. May God bless James and his kids! Tonny couldn't find place to drop me because his eyes were covered by God. God blessed him with love in his heart and covered his eyes. Finally Tonny stopped in a gas station near a town, he bought some water and milk for me. we hate to say goodbye, but we have to sometimes. someone only wanted to go to downtown, but he drove me until another state. God is graceful, His love is big. we are all in God, we never can separate in God, so don't be afraid to say goodbye. let us be blessings for each other when we meet. I got a ride in a yellow truck, his name is Skip.Skip is a such happy person,I felt cheerful and relax able with him. he asked me to write him in my book, "remember, my name is Skip,drive a yellow truck." he told me when i got out. write Skip in my book,that is what i am doing right now.i am happy to write a happy person in my book. once a while, every morning when my husband Sean woke up, i did this same routine: i showed him two fingers: today you have two choices: to be happy or unhappy. which do you like to choose? we are married for 6 years.I have been trying all ways to help him to be a happy person.From time to time,Sean is attacked by negative thoughts. and then he releases it through his mouth. we all know that murderers are bad guys, we put them in jail, and even judge them to death. if your neck often holds a long face,your face often holds a mouth same as grave yard, you might have already killed or will kill a person. your mood would effect your family, friends, and anyone you meet. that sadness would increase the degree of possible illness, that would cut short their lives.if your face and your mouth reduce 5% time of each one, you have killed a life if there are 20 people effected by you. you may think you are good, but you are a killer, a murderer.you may meet hundreds, thousands of people during your life long, so you can kill 5,10,or more lives.the murderers are bad? most of them killed only one, but you are a serial murderer. so I watch my face and wash my mouth every day, even i am hitchhiker, a street performer, sometimes a street sleeper. Bible tells us "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" joice one time is not enough, we should " rejoice", even two times is still not enough, say it again, rejoice. so we should joice 4 times. i am still far away from God's will about joice.i am willing to receive God's grace. A happy heart is good medicine, a happy heart is God's medicine too. Bible tells us "delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." we should be delight first, and then receive God's blessings.not in opposite sequence. if we are not delight,God may not give us what we want. Skip is blessed. i am blessed for having a happy ride with him. Skip dropped me in New Haven. This was my destination today. My mind kept thinking to find place to stay for the night, so i simply stopped at a street corner to play flute. while i was working, i hanged the sign looking for a couch. A lady Nicole gave me a brochure titled Green Sheet. she asked me "Do you know Columbus House?' that's shelter. i checked shelters on computer before I headed on road. at the begining, i felt guilty for staying at shelter. i did not pay anything, only eat, sleep. that is different from staying someone's home, i always help my host to clean house, cook or gardening or anything i can give a hand.i am happy for this exchange and enjoy the friendship.with gratitude my heart is more balance and comfortable on such situation. when i stayed at shelter, my heartfelt thanks was mixed with a debt.what i could do was that i lifted a prayer: God, please bless me with ablity, some day i will payback to help all homeless shelters. we are lucky to live in this great country,it has such organization to shelter the needy.the USA is blessed by God, we are blessed for being her citizen. my heartfelt thanks to all shelters i stayed. some of them made my heartbroken. strict and complex regulations, argument... , this experience made me tired of shelters, somewhat. so except couchsurffing, i keep trying more ways to find sleeping place or thinking to sleep outside. well, Nicole is beautiful young lady, she passed by here, she saw me. i was excited to have a place to sleep for tonight. even i know that is shelter. i gave her a big hug. Nicole told me i may go there at 3pm. there is form in the Green Sheet brochure, it listed the addresses and time for free meals. i heard there no such thing as a free lunch. Who said that? Green sheet said there are lunch and breakfast and dinner for free. It passed 12 o'clock. i went through a beautiful big church,i saw a small house for dining. a good meal, I like the dessert too. After this big lunch,I wondered in town. i found Yale University is here, in New Haven. that surprised me. my friend Eric Shaoli Wang studied for his post-Ph.D on mathematics in this famous school. after graduation,he tried to find a job in the US,finally he accept a position from China.we may feel regret that Eric can't live in America, but God's will is higher than ours. if we live with God, doesn't matter where we live, we are already in heaven . That is eternal heaven.May God bless Eric with great career and a sweet home. after looking around in downtown,i went to thrift store, i bought a pair of shoes, a towel and a belt. the shoes are with holes on the top,i felt much better, it can breath some air. i had no towel in half month,I donated my towel to Andy my host in Erie. I used it as a rag to clean his house. my belt is wore out. it went inside two holes. i thought i might be losing weight.now i bought this shorter one, I use the last hole, if I eat more or get big, it will signal me. My backpack is getting old too, i guess it can't last two more months. I need replace it with a new one. I need socks too, This pair on my feet is from Dale, one of my sweetest hosts. When i was in Lincoln, the whole city was during construction. I did not made much money either. But I have some beautiful memory about Lincoln: they are fireflies and Dale's singing, and this pair of socks. The socks almost end their lives. But the fireflies are still flying, Dale's singing is still singing in my heart. It was very hot afternoon.I walked on the road. On the half way to Columbus house i met a black young man, he suggested me to take bus, i followed him to the bus station, I felt this might be even farther than Columbus house.When I got in bus and got out of bus, I felt it was really close. I thought I fell into Albert Einstein's theory of relativity. there were a group people waiting outside shelter.I was the last one on line. I am not afraid of waiting.my hands type iPod, or my mind talks to God. That is good time for me. I also can harvest a fruit of holy spirit: patience. A lady next me dressed in all black: from the scarf covering her head to the shoes on her feet. I guessed she is Arabian or muslim, or both. Her name is Falak. Falak is very friendly, she tried to help me to know the regulations, told me what time check in, what time check out. and eat,sleep, and lottery. Lottery? A lady worker came with a jar in her hand. Everyone in line took a ticket from the jar, there are a letter on the ticket, if you get B, you will sleep on bed, if you get C , you will sleep on C.I did not understand C is cushion or couch or something else, but I did not think it was chair. The later story was that after two days,I slept on S, --- street , when I was in New York. so fear not, C is welcome. my lottery is C2. This will be my dreamland tonight in New Haven. I just finished supper. I heard "I hate this place! I hate this place!"A man on another side of table was in his anger I got shook, not by him , it was by "hate". Does anyone "love" to stay in homeless shelter? this indeed is a place for love. God's love flows here and covers His children. Heartfelt thanks,guilty, debt,promise to payback.... That is me to shelter. Another time I was shaken by "hate" ,that happened in Safeway. There was a young lady, I noticed her face looked like angry all the time. Every morning when I came in, I said hi,hello, or good morning, or how are you to her, same time from my small eyes and big mouth,I always sent smile to her.she has never responded any sound or motion, even a glance. After a month,I knew her name is Jessica, so when I saw her, I said hi ,hello, good morning, how are you, Jessica. she had never seen me, she had never heard me. Several months passed. One morning, I came in and saw her," hi , Jessica, how are you?" miracle! I saw she looked like ready to speak to me. " that's you on highway 20 yesterday ? Wearing flowers clothes?" " yes, that's me." I went to Ukiah to play flute. " I hate hitchhiking!" I got shook .Lukily she did not drive to crash me and let me die. Otherwise she would be my angel who take me to see our heavenly Father. I immediately understood why she looked alway angry. There was hate in her heart. The later story was that Jessica gave me a little bit friendly smile as farewell before I left my job. At that evening or late afternoon, Jessica came to Deli to buy some cheese, I served for her. She asked about my leaving and my trip.she tried to show me her kindness, it was pretty difficult action for her face muscles to make a smile. But I have already felt the love from her. I had prayed for her. Hope she download all hate in her heart, full filled with God's love. Sometimes I even amazed by myself, I think I might spoke 100 times " hi, Jessica" ,"good morning Jessica, " during I worked in Safeway half year.before the final farewell I got only respond was " I hate hitchhiking !" Hate is a wall.God's blessings can't flow into you. Your heart will live in prison if you hate. I think the man who hates shelter is to hate his current situation,he wants to improve his life, he wants to have his own home. May God give him a thankful heart to receive His love. May God guide him to build his career and home. a girl was on cell phone, while talking, her emotion was getting excited, she was losing her temper, and finally outburst.Her voice was loud, she walked around and threw chairs away. I watched her and felt a little bit nervous , at least I did not want to get hurt from a flying chair.while she was calming down in actions, she started to cry, tears covered her face. A big sympathy was flowing in my heart, i wanted to walk to her and hold her in my arms, to tell her we all love you, you are beloved by God, we need to be patient, everything will be ok, life is beautiful. After dinner, it was shower time, when we were at the door to take stuff for shower, some reasons caused this same girl's anger out again. She shouted and beat the woman next to her. I was behind that woman, I quickly pushed her away, and put myself in the front of the crazy one, " it's ok, you are a good girl !" I pat her shoulder. I tried to calm her and encourage her to be good.thank God, i could take guts up in such situation.my third world background and my skin color have never been obstacles for me to receive God's grace,He gave me a brave heart. The lady worker declaimed to the girl: if you what what,you go out. The girl performed in same process: while calming down, she started to cry. I know that a angry person is normally a weak one, the patient person is stronger. She was quiet now , with tears on her face. I thought the worker's words worked out: she was afraid to sleep outside. That sentence was a threaten. That result would be a scary. I used have same feeling about staying outside at night. But God guided me and gave me a opportunity to help me conquer the fear. After the night on street in New York city, I think it is ok or may even pretty cool to sleep outside. The shower place is very pretty: big,clean,with full size mirrors on three walls. I looked this naked lady in mirrors: I think I am beautiful. Thank God for giving me such dressing. I should be able to find a family to host me. I looked at others, most of them are too heave, possibly the weight contributed them from men's love to God's love.that is ok, God's love is bigger than a man's love. but God 's some habit is same as a man: HE likes you are beautiful and healthy. Our body is the temple that holy spirit lives in, keep it in beauty is not only to cheer up men, that is also God 's will. While My roommates enjoyed watching movie in TV room, I laid on my lottery C2 typing iPod.it was just a common single bed. I did not know what difference between B and C, my dream is same sweet.

August 4, Norwalk, CT

August 4, Norwalk, CT I left shelter at 7am. I thought I could reach New York today. New York, it is like a landmark. Along the road many people asked me "have you been to New York? " It becomes a mission that I need to go to New York. I walked to pass the traffic light, and thumbed there. A woman was waiting for bus. She called me to come over. I guessed she stayed in shelter last night, so she recognized me. She gave me $2 to let me take bus. I told her I will hitch hike to New York. I put the $2 back in her hand. Even homeless, there is love in their hearts, they are willing to share love with others. How good God is. He love His all children, no exception. I stood there just a few minutes, a black young man on bicycle came to me. He sounded a fast straight person, within a few sentences he asked me " can I take you to motel?" east coast really amazed me. After the bicycle left, a car stopped,it looked patient to wait for me to run to it. I got in car, the driver grabbed my arm: " do you do business ?"" I am just traveling. " he did not go my direction. So I got out on next light. These two persons' stories happened within 5 minutes. I saw a McDonald in the corner. I went inside to use Internet, I send Christopher a note , asked him to pray for me.I know he prays for me every day, his love holds my heart, even he has never told me that he loves me. But I believe that is his love. I did not mention the detail, because I don't want to repeat a trouble and spread a black cloud to make it bigger. Certainly I don't want him to worry about me, even he is strong enough to carry such burden. I felt weak, the world is so big, I am so small. I have not cried after Tucson. It is long time I felt pretty good. I always had Couchsurffing hosts in this past one and half months. Everything worked well . But recently things changed, I had no host in Boston and New Haven, hitchhiking is more difficult than before . Continually countered some one asking for sex. I send a note to Sean, he is my husband, his prayer is important for me. He had never prayed for me before my this trip. On April 30th, before I left, I held the Bible, asked Sean to pray for me, he said :" I don't know what to say" , I encouraged him: "just say what you want. " he was in silence for a few seconds, then: " God, please watch my wife." when I heart that, I thought he asked God to "watch" me, that means God take care of me, protect me from harm? Or monitor me , don't run away with handsome young man? Since I was on road by myself, Sean started to pray for me. Thank God, may God guide him to the faith. After sending out two emails, I got up the courage and went out. I couldn't hide here forever. We are alone since we were born, but God is with us. I kept going my way. A black man Mike with his two kids gave me a ride to Bridgeport. I was squeezed smaller in his truck. If your heart is big enough, you always have plenty space to share with others. Mike and his kids are blessed. "we have plenty place." Peter was my driver from Indianapolis to Columbus Ohio. He drove me 83 miles beyond his destination,from his son's air force camp in Dayton university to my host address in Columbus. For him that was 170 miles extra driving.when he stopped for me on the ramp,I opened the door, what I heard was "we have plenty place." that was the reason he picked me up. Because his car has plenty place,his heart has plenty place. The truth was that there were already 5 people, his wife and three kids in car. And he was right, there was another seat for me. Peter is blessed, he understands God's grace is sufficient, and he received it abundantly. I looked around downtown in Bridgeport. The time was still early, it was Saturday, most people might be enjoying the relax morning. I found the entrance to New York and quickly got a lift. The driver named John, he was going to Norwalk.John was very nice,he introduced all towns we passed by. What I remembered is Norwalk is good place, other places are not so good.I don't know that is true or he just loves his hometown. Sean thinks Mendocino is the best. I have to agree with him after I traveled 11,000 miles. I love Mendocino, my sweet home. Norwalk is John's sweet home. John dropped me at a shopping center along the highway. I thought this might be a good spot for busking. I set up stuff. A security guard came to me before my business was open. He told me I could not play music here.i asked "is there OK?" "no,not this area." his meaning is that his job is to guard the whole shopping center, not only this store. He is good enough, he pointed me a way to go: "there is another store cross the road." This is Stop and Shop, I saw its advisements several times. I thought this name is interesting. I think Walk and Talk might be a good name for cell phone than Taco Bell. There were a group of teenage girls dressing up in the front of the door, they have a big sign and a big jar on a long table. When I saw that, I knew they would be my competitor."let him go,let him tarry." I decided to choose tarry. The first thing I did was to donate $1 to the charity.i walked to the table and put the dollar in the jar,and give the girls a smile,just for starting friendship. They came here early than me, I should not grab their spot. I set up on the corner beside the door IN, this is certainly not good location as the girls': in the front of door OUT. People tend to drop some change for the busker after shopping, not before entering the store.they have a do-list, they need do it first, and then can enjoy the fun of taking care of a street performer.except the shopping mission in their mind,their hands are empty,even they want to give you money, they need to stop and take out wallet and check if they have small cash.and then put the wallet back. That is extra work. After shopping, they paid on counter,and get change, go out of door.i am just waiting there, they tend to drop the change in my tip hat, and take their reward: "Thank you,God bless you!" there are another more important reason, it is time.or it is love. While people shop in store, they hear your music, in the 20 minutes or half hour shopping, they enjoy it and may even one song recalled their special story in their lives. They can't resist their passion on you, or they think they should give you a dollar because they listen your music so long time.they simply prepare it and drop it to you when you walk out of door. To build relationship that needs time.the speedy people who just pass by me rare give me money, I have never got good result in downtown street.the issue is not door IN or door OUT, it is love.when a singer sings in restaurant, most people would like to give him or her some tip. One is they feel shy if they don't in that place. Another reason is time and love. People need time to listen,think and love it. When time turns into love, love will turn into money. While I was working beside the door IN, a young man came," Tell me your story." he read my sign looking for a couch to stay for tonight, and asked me. I hanged it on my backpack if I have no place to sleep.if I have host, I will turn it over, the other side is : traveling on budget,.. Any help welcome. No couch mentioned. I thought this man was going to take me home,offer me a place to stay. I have too many stories.i tried to speak simply: hitch hike across whole country, play flute to make living. His name is Brett, he told me that he and his wife traveled 7 months, so he understood me. I saw hope on him, so I urgently introduced myself: 45 years old, married, Christian. I wanted to improve I am a good woman: old enough, have family and have faith. Certainly, these three are just common sense. I am still a sinner when temptation is big enough. What I wanted to tell him is that I am just traveling, need a place to sleep.i will not knock his bedroom on midnight or break his marriage or his heart. He said he totally believe me, did not need me to show him the certificate. But he needed to go home to ask his wife."you can call her." I don't know why he have to "go home" to ask wife. I thought perhaps she has no cell phone, or they have no telephone at home. My mind was slow at that moment. When a man tells you " I need to ask my wife." that means "No." comparing this tender lie, it is better for me to get No directly from a man's mouth,even it is harder for my heart. I like man being a man. Husband is wife's head. Respect woman and practice democracy at home,that is good. But if a man gives up his position being the head of wife, God will be unhappy about that.and I stand on God's side. Brett told me he was going to north, Springfield, Massachusetts.He will be back at 10 pm. I did not think I will wait a hopeless hope until darkness to cover me. "I can go with you and come back." I like Springfield this name. But he looked not ready to drive me or let me to sleep at his home. His last words were that "I will back at 10pm , and may come to check if you are still here. If any one offer you a place, take it. Don't especially wait for me. " thank God, Brett is honest person. He did not want to mislead me to believe a illusory promise. I heard the girls were busy on " Thank you!" "Thank you!" the girls did not perform any instrument, they just performed their beauty. They are a group, from the beginning 3, to 5,6, later. Their activity is charity. Many years ago I watched a program on TV, it was national geography, or animal world, or discovery, something channel. There were two male birds, they fell in love a female bird, one showed her colorful feather, the other sang loving songs to her.the one who has beautiful dressing was the winner. The girls collect donation for charity, I make money for myself. Several times people asked me "what reason you perform for?" " for myself, for money, for fun. " the result from this answer was that they let me leave. I thought they might expect such declaration:for Tibet freedom, for civil rights of my motherland, or for the hungry children in Africa... I got the lessons. Christopher told me, I can keep the first two items, and just tell them "for fun." that is not against my honesty and I have right to be silence in law. Sean suggested a aromatic answer: for the beauty of life. I don't know what's wrong "for myself, for money." Jesus tells us" love your neighbor same as yourself." that means you must love yourself first, and then you can love your neighbor. Otherwise how you can love your neighbor "same as" yourself? That means except God, the most important person on earth is yourself, you need to love this person-- yourself , first, and then your neighbors and then your enemy. Did Jesus say love your neighbor more than yourself? Or love your enemy before your kids? What wrong is about money? When I was in Albuquerque, New Mexico, in the evening I and Neal talked something while we enjoyed icecream. The subject went to the money and God. I encouraged him to pray for money, "ask for billions , not millions. Because for God they are same. Dream bigger dreams." "that sounds too different, if some one stands up in church and pray : God, I want 5 billions dollars. " Someone stands before all congregation to pray for healing illness, they are not shy to ask for health. But most of us can't speak aloud "God, please give me money." in the front of others or just say that to God at his own home. God created the world in 6 days, He spent 5 days, more than 80% time, in material preparation for His kids' birth. He created people,our flesh and soul, in only one day. That means we, God's children, need a lot of things to live on. If God spent His 80% time on making money for His children, what should we blame money? Some people may look up charity for others and look down making money"for myself". There is such a story: a little girl was in totally poverty life, but God loved her, put a dream in her heart: she wanted to travel whole world. Until the little girl become a middle age woman, she started her world trip. She is on her way now ,with almost nothing. I play music to make money, feed her stomach and clothing her body, help her dream come true. Is this charity? I am this woman. I love this world, I am happy to see the young girls with beautiful dressing in their charity matter.even their charity beat down my charity. y It was afternoon 3 pm, I went back the grocery store, the one is cross the highway, the security guard let me go, now I tarried a while. After eating,I saw the bookstore nearby, I went to use Internet. Its about an hour wondering. I guessed the girls would leave at 4pm. So I walked cross the highway one more time. The parents' cars were coming, the girls jumped in cars. What a such blessing for both of them,I know God is happy to see His children enjoying family love. I took the girls' place in the front of door OUT. There is no misunderstanding any more for what reason I perform music, the sign showing it clearly: my name is Spring, I am traveling on budget. Looking for a couch to stay for tonight. Clean house for exchange.thank you. God bless you! It was indeed a good spot.money kept coming into my tip hat. There were an elder couple stopped before me,they watched the sign , " You can stay at my home. " said the lady. I immediately jumped to hug her.the reaction is much more passionate than the hug I gave to Christopher, when he recognized me and then I know who he is. They are Sine and Cam. Sine is from Scotland, so she is familiar to penny whistle. I especially played several Scottish songs. I was sure she could hear them while she and her husband were shopping inside. I waited for Sina and Cam at the door,while I was still working, with the sign looking for couch for tonight. Before I was going to turn over the sign, a lady came to me, a $20 bill flied out of her hand, another $20 bill followed the first one into my tip hat, another 2 of $1 bills escape from her wallet : " You sleep in hotel." I had thought I would sleep outside. But I got double blessings, Sine offered me to stay her home, this lady gave me $42 to sleep in hotel. I guessed Sine and Cam enjoyed the shopping. They spent about an hour in store. That was lucky for me, with music, money came in really quick. It was my turn to say "thank you, God bless you!" "thank you, God bless you!" Sine and Cam went out. I collected my stuff, put myself and everything in car. We were running to my one- night sweet home . Sine and Cam lives in very quiet place, nice area , the house is beautiful, back yard's lawn is smooth and grassy. Cam with cane could not walk well on steps. I helped them to take heave things to upstair. Sine cooked some hamburgers, I had no chance give her a hand, she said "you are my guest.just be relax." so I hanged round or looked at yard or neighbor's grass.or threw some cherries into my mouth from time to time. We had a nice dinner and nice talk. Sine agreed to let me wash dishes.I cleaned the kitchen.i took Cam's turn today, Sine said cleaning is his job. Evening I counted the money I made, it was $92, a big day.God is graceful. While I was laying on bed, I turned on ipod. I got a email from Brett, the man who let me "tell me your story" and went home to ask his wife. I noticed it was about 2pm he sent me this email: Hey Spring, We met at Stop and Shop in Norwalk. I am in Massachusetts now, but please let me know if you found a place for tonight.Best , Brett. I told him "I am at Sine and Cam's home now" and sent a picture of us to him. He responded " I am glad it worked out." finally I understood, Brett was not going to help me, he did not plan to offer me a place for the night at all. He was in same situation as me: how I can find a place to sleep. When he saw my sign, he might thought " wow, that's a idea." he wanted to know the result. So when he travel next time, he may try to use this way. If he decided to help me, certainly he could drive me with him to Springfield and back his home together. He could leave his telephone and address to me, he cloud let her wife to come to pick me in evening, not 10pm I stand at somewhere to wait for a daydream hope. I think Brett is just too shy to be humble, so he chose to hide his honesty. It is also possibly he would like to help a traveler in his heart. But he has resigned or was taken away the position being the head at his home. So he is not able to do that. Something Brett can't do. But God can. God sent Sine to me for tonight. Norwalk and Sine reminded me of Pearl, a beautiful lady in Norwalk in California, near LA. I met Pearl there. Pear is such kind woman, her heart is full of mother's love. Today in Norwalk Connecticut, another mother from Scotland received me. Life is beautiful . Thank God!

July 8,Columbus Ohio .

July 8,Columbus Ohio . Marc dropped me at the entrance .i waited pretty long time before a gentleman picked me up.he gave me several mikes ride and 10$. God is good .God is provider . The next ride was pretty special . Peter and wife Sheri ,three kids Andrew, Issac, Bethy .they were heading to Dayton for Andrew air. Amp in the univerty of Dayton Roommare Josh , mother Asin , father white much older than his mother . Certainly he is youger than sean.Pater tried to teach his sons . K We went to church, met Peter sister nice nephew . Sheri played pionio , And then went to air camp register . Eat , covered , pater paid , his mind is very clear . He stoped the car asked me if I like with them , and they would take me to columbus. After air camp , GPS 83 mils, with wife and two kids in car , drove me . That reminded me of James in sanctemental when I came back from Reno Nevada . Christopher drive me 1 and half month. Amazing grace. I arrived in skylar 's Home at 8:30pm Sabrina opened the door, little girl Gracie behind her mom, and then the head of the house Skylar. This is besutiful family, Sabrina is pregnant , new baby boy will be born on September . I am their first couch suffer. They are my first "family " husband wife and kids,to host me . I felt I am so lucky to stay their home . I hope they bring good luck to me . I m sleep in basement , the tempture was very good .

May 1 Petaluma

May 1 Petaluma Morning Phil cooked breakfast: oatmeal with milk and butter. I and Phil ate, Louis didn't. even she has been living in the US 30 years , she is not used to American style food. Ready to leave. Louis put a bag of food and $20 in my hands. I was happy to receive good , but I told her that I could not take the money. She insist, I finally accept her kindness . I knew that God has grace on me. Phil drove me to the entrance to San Francisco. After a while, a big beautiful black car stopped. Sometimes my mouth and my mind do not match each other . I told the driver that I was going to santa rosa in my mouth. After I get in car,from our conversation I found I passed the wrong information to my driver. So I correct it. He said I need charge you to San Francisco. I was totally shameless and decisionly to tell my pretty handsome driver of this big black beauty:" you charge wrong person." later I understand why he want to charge me , because his job is taxi driver. He drove me extra miles to the next entrance . Before stoping , he asked to date me when I come back from travling." you are single , right ?" If I don't put a sign showing " I am married" almost every one certainly think I am single. He is from Hawaii , I don't remember what race he is, little bit dark skin, pretty handsome. Tom was going to Nevato to work. After some simple talking within a few minutes He decide to hire me, so he phone called his wife to ask permission. We work together whole day, in 7 families to do gardening. Every house is big and absolutely beautiful. I though that people in Naveda all are rich. I got paid $60 in the evening. This is my second day of traveling , looks good, oh ? Looks I can support myself to keep going. Don' be happy so early. This is evening , where will I sleep? Sine morning I promised to work for Tom , I had already told him that I need him to offer me a place to stay overnight. His temperaments started to turn sour,he spoke 20 -30times " fuck". because his wife said she does'nt know who I am. "if you bring her home, I will leave tomorrow morning." wo , that's a good story. it Sounds I am pretty powerful Competation. If God made me so beautiful , so nice , even someone's husband offered me job and like to take me home to give me place to sleep a nigh , what's wrong ? Both me and that husband. But. I surely dont want to be the Subject of their arguement , so I mentioned to Tom that I may go to shelter to stay a night. He did not agree . He and his wife talked on phone. He asked her: " Where ... when ...what ..." I was thinking that doesn't matter how smart the wife is , the husband can always be smarter. After Tom got his wife 's trace . He let me stay a place to eat something ,he promised that he will come back to pick me . Before his wife back. He took a blanket and put me in the trailer. So now I am in the trailer And typing my small iPod, without light. Sometimes we ignored some beauty. When I told Tom that his face shines full smiling, he is Very happy . He said his wife has never told him that. If fact I felt a little bit not fit to tell my boss , a man , almost a stranger about his looking. But I remember that Christopher said if you know someone's good, you should tell them . He did tell the girl how beautiful her big blue eyes. So I did today . Tom indeed has very beautiful smiling face with two light Dimples. When he smiles , every cell of his whole face shines smilimg M

May 24, Phoenix, AZ

May 24, Phoenix, AZ Morning Sam cooked breakfast, fried egg and and tetiya. While he was cooking, I tried to think of some songs to sing for him. Sam is from Ukraine, he came to the US when he was 10 years old. So I thought he might know Soviet folk songs. Some Soviet songs are very famous in China. I sang "Katyusha", "Cranberries blossom", " night of Moscow", "Edelweiss"... , Sam knows all of them. I noticed that his face's expression was getting more active,his eyes shined light. Surely he was more beautiful at that moment than two days ago when he stood at the door quietly waiting for me going to him. Hometown and childhood stories are always in our hearts, not only in our memory. I don't think my singing skill is good enough to touch someone 's soul, but hometown and childhood are just so tender in our heart. Anytime if they are touched by some reasons, we would be there again. Sam sat at the sofa before me, He told me: I heard about a Chinese saying, before you leave , you sit down for a while quietly, and think, don't forget something. I said I have already kneed down, not only sit down , I prayed for Sam and for myself, and ... Sam drove me to the hwy 8 entrance. He got out of car . "I give you a gift. " it's a yellow bracelet with Jewry. He said it's from Israel red sea. I gave my right hand to him, he wore it on my hand. I will wear it forever. it is not only a gift from Sam, it is from Jesus' hometown. After we hugged and blessed each other, Sam left. I stood there hitchhiking. Just a while, a car stopped smoothly before me . I thought today is lucky, so quick to get a ride. It was Sam . He rolled down the window, handled me $10. I said "no,no, I have $60 " He insisted. he left. I saw the money in my hand, my all tears went out. I couldn't hitch hike, because I couldn't smile , all drivers saw a crying person standing beside the road. Sam drove back to me , just wanted to give me $10. Otherwise his heart may cannot released from me. two days ago we were strangers.I know his concerning will follow me a while where I go. We may forget each other someday .that's ok. We share two days and we saw beauty and kindness in each other and bless each other in our journey of lives. That 's good enough, that's beautiful enough. A family from Iraq was my first driver today. They have a beautiful teenage son with them. 7 cars transferred me through mountains and mountains , rocks and rocks , sand and sand. About 6pm i arrived in Phoenix. The weather was hot. I was looking for a place to stay for the night. I did several tries. here was convention center. A young man Yassee promised to help me,He is from Afghanistan, works in Yassee was off work at 9pm. He drove me to his home. The interesting thing was that he treated me pretty different from my all other hosts. He thinks if I travel I should have money, shouldn't depend on other people 's help. When I got in his home, " you said you wanted to stay in garage? take your shoes. " he put me in the garage. I was thankful to him and to God for his keeping me inside. After a little while , Yassee opened the door and asked "do you need water" , after a little while he came gargare again, " do you want to sleep on the guest room floor?" I answered " yes" that's much better than garage . He was ironing clothes , I offered to help him. His whole body every where is similar groom, totally neat clean, his home is similar 5 stars hotel. He told me that his brother had a business to make up groom ,he worked there. His mother taught them to keep clean. While he was Ironing we talked something , he became more friendly. he told me his sister died last year by car accident in Afgnistan, left 6 kids. He and his girl friend are experiencing difficult time. He showed me the kit he made , He asked me to play flute , I did. He looked feel ok . The feeling that disliked me was decreased or gone. Maybe he stared to like me . After "good night " each other, a little while he came back again, take water to me . After a little while he came back, he asked me for massage, I felt this was a difficult request for me to answer yes or no. Thank God that tonight He sheltered me. He is from Afgnistan,

May 21, San Diego, 2nd night

May 21, San Diego, 2nd night Jeff waked up late. This is his normal life. He dropped me at Hilton shopping mall, And then he went to a meeting . 1:30pm Jeff came back while a young lady waved my hair at the shop near the big o'clock in the mall. I always dream i have wave hair. When she saw Jeff, " your husband. ... " she tried to sell me the tool for my beauty. I laughed :" I don't think he wants to spend money to buy this for me, and he is not my husband. maybe someday, anything is possible. I keep open. ' As I told you, my heart is full of sin. I love all handsome young men in the world. When Warren asked " is he (George) your boyfriend?" something inside wanted me to say "yes". When the girl who was making up my hair certainly thought that Jeff is my husband, I did not want any argument about that and felt pretty happy. Jeff had wife,he divorced a year ago. His wife have been sick for 20 years. He promised her that he would take care her until kids grew up. He did. When I listened to that, I watched him, I felt life was so heave on his shoulders. But God is great, His love is always bigger than the difficulties. Jeff has successful career, healthy body, happy character and positive mind. He is blessed by God, and he likes to be blessing to others. The rest of the day Jeff had free time to share with me. He asked " do you want to go to beach or Mexico?" "Mexico." I answered. I was totally excited about this international travel. We took trolley to the border and then walked into Tijuana. Jeff told me: don't talk to them. I saw Jeff kept serious face, doesn't matter they speak Spanish or English, he has no any respond. I couldn't bear such funny feeling,just wanted to laugh. because a lot of information about Mexico is "dangerous. " So we need to take special caution. I liked the street full of color. sometimes Jeff went into some stores to check something or talk with the owners. Every store super welcomes customers. But comparing China, such service is only a cold dish. In China , they might catch your sleeves and pull you into the store. We ate some tacos in a restaurant. it was on the top of the house, a good location to see the fun happening on downtown street. After we enjoyed so much seeing and eating, it was late afternoon. We walked back to the border. Jeff held my hand cross street. At that moment, something in my heart touched me, I was almost in tears. My husband Sean holds my hand normally less than 60 seconds if I beg him to hold me. Christopher has never hold my hands.certainly i have never "begged" him to do that. I desire all kinds of love languages, including physical touching. Just most of the time we are too shy to show others what we want. it was long line for waiting to check passport into the US. Jeff bought some mexican snack while we were waiting. I liked it, but I couldn't think of its name now. It is made of flour and deep fried stick with some sugar outside. I started to fall in love lollipop too. When Jeff came back from bank at that morning, he handled me a lollipop. When i ate the lollipop, I felt I became smaller and cuter. We finished this international travel, arrived in our homeland the great America and came back "our "sweet home. Thank you, Jeff, for sharing two days with me in the journey of my life. May God bless you overflow!